American Dating: Relationship Without a Purpose

Many American teenagers frequently date before the age of 15. (Child Trends, 2015) By the age of 20, some people may have dated up to 30 different people. American teens date too early and too often. God created dating for use inside the context of marriage. Should dating not be used for its proper purpose? If early dating is wrong, then American teenagers should reserve dating for marriage and not date until ready for a serious commitment.  

            Granted, dating can provide a relational experience. In making mistakes, experience and memory will show a person to not make more of the same mistakes in the future. However, experience in unnecessary dating can give pain and brokenness. One should experience dating in the way one should experience a snake bite-you run away and don’t look back!

            To begin, dating at an early age has no point. Normally, a boy who dates at an early age will date a girl for a few months, and when he tires of her, he will dump her. Almost immediately, he will begin dating a new girl. Then when he finishes with her, he will dump her as well. The cycle continues, with nothing gained except practice for divorce. Why date so many women? When asked, one 16-year-old stated, “Dating helps you to get to know girls!” What’s the point? Does anybody gain anything in the long run? As a matter of fact, yes. People gain heartbreak and sinful habits. They become slaves to themselves and their own pleasure. Nothing good comes out of dating so many women. Dating is to be used inside the context of marriage. It should be used in the hopes that two people will get married. It may not lead to marriage, but the intent still exists.

            Secondly, the Bible speaks against dating. While a young Christian would disagree, older Christians know that the Bible tells us not to date until both God and the children’s parents ordain it. Song of Songs 8:4 says “Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you: do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time.”[1]  Solomon cries out to the daughters of Jerusalem to avoid seeking love before God ordains it. In that day, the women of Jerusalem sought marriage or prostitution for sexual means before the age of 18. Solomon, while not the best example with women, tells us God, not us, oversees our love life. Romans 12:1 says, “Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship.”[2] Paul states that Christians should keep their bodies pure, for if we exist as part of a holy marriage to God through His church, then should our bodies not be kept pure for him? Dating ensues kissing and often more. Many American teens take dating as permission to freely have sex or sexual contact. They become like rampaging soldiers-free to do as they want. These sinful actions do not glorify God, but instead defile his temple.

            Finally, dating should exist for marriage and marriage only. Childtrends.org states that around 40% of 10th graders date frequently. By 12th grade, 72% date frequently and 16% date more than once a week (Child Trends Databank, 2015). Certainly, today’s dating exists differently from the dating God created. In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve. When Adam first set sight on Eve-the first and only perfect woman-, he fell in love. From the top of her blonde hair to the bottoms of her bare feet, Adam loved Eve. He could not stop looking at this literal vision from heaven, and for the first time in human history, a man fell in love with a woman. In a sense, he dated her, through his wooing of her heart. God planned for something to come before marriage-dating. God created dating for use inside the context of marriage.  A God so pure and holy did not intend dating as a path to sex. He created it for a man and women to use in the process to marriage. Every human being who misuses dating misuses God’s Holy purpose. In our pride, we, as fallen humans, think that we choose to define dating, not God. With God as King, we have no need to rise above him. The created submit to the all knowledgeable creator, who invented and created dating for us to enjoy inside the context of marriage.

            American teens should reserve dating for marriage, and not date until they are ready for a serious commitment. Dating has been tainted. Many teens use dating as a highway for sexual acts. They fornicate without guilt, and the American culture glorifies it. Should people not honor God with their bodies? Should they not seek to use dating for the purpose that God created it for? Yes, America needs to change. Dating needs to change.

Works Cited

A: Child Trends Databank, https://www.childtrends.org/?indicators=dating, 2015

B: Child Trends Databank, https://www.childtrends.org/?indicators=dating, 2015


[1] HCSB translation

[2] HCSB translation

Written by Elisha McFarland, edited by Laura McFarland, Josephine Lee, Melonie Eastham, Silas Pearson, and the rest of my Writing and Comp II class


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One thought on “American Dating: Relationship Without a Purpose

  1. Pingback: “Behind the Blogger” Nomination – Africa Boy

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